WARNING: this is a LONG post.. walo ga sepanjang antrian busway arah kalideres di halte harmoni :) do enjoy, though.. and please don't force yourself to finish it.. it's just my mind and completely okay if you stop reading due to boredom :) hihihi...
Someone will always be prettier.
Someone will always be smarter.
Someone’s house will be bigger.
Someone will drive a better car.
Someone’s children will do better in school.
And Someone’s husband will fix more things around the house.
So let it go, and love you and your circumstances.
Think about it.
The prettiest woman in the world can have hell in her heart.
And the most highly favored woman on your job may be unable to have children.
And the richest woman you know, she’s got the car, the house, the clothes...might be lonely.
And the word says if “I have not Love, I am nothing.”
So, again, love you. Love who you are.
Look in the mirror in the morning and smile and say..
“I am too blessed to be stressed and too anointed to be disappointed!”
“Winners make things happen. Losers let things happen.”
“To the world you might be one person, but to one person you just might be the world.”
the phrase above was written by someone I don't know, was forwarded through email and gives me something to think about.. I used to be a complainer (is that even a word?) and I still complains sometimes.. well, I'm sure in life there are things happen not as our plan, some works are too difficult, some friends are too annoying, some bosses are too demanding and stuffs..
personally, I would say that I actually don't mean to complain.. I used to say the word "aduh" or take a deep breath.. well, to be honest, I don't intentionally do that, it's more of a spontaneous reactions.. so do forgive me, if there are times I do those stuffs in front of you.. I try to change but it takes time.. longer that I've expected..
I love to talk.. I'm talkative.. and when I talked, I would directly talk about something that's been in my mind.. well, lately it would be work.. I dunno how work can really take over my brain.. it's like unconciously I would talk about work over and over again.. as a defense, I would say that I spend more than 8 hours in work and my mind continuously focus on the tasks I got.. and so yeah, it basically controls my mind for the 8 hours of normal working hours and sometimes it continues til I got home.. I'm not saying that I hate my work.. in fact, I'm enjoying it.. okay, stop about work ahhahaha... see, it's even intending to take over this post..
well, what I want to talk is life.. my life, to be specific.. and probably your life, if you have something common with me.. let me make this clear.. I am 24 years old, working as a banker and I am happy with my life.. like I've said before, there are times when I complains.. but overall, I love my life.. some parts of it are tough.. you know, those parts when you feel like walking in a shadow and you can't see any doors or windows or anybody to talk to..
I learnt through these years to be more thankful.. during my college time, I used to complain to God for a lot of things.. now, looking back to those times, I realized that I've been really unstable and unable to see things in the right point of view.. I used to be selfish.. well, I'm not saying that I'm completely unselfish now.. but I learn to think towards my problems thoroughly.. just to get a better picture of it.. I learn a lot..
life has been quite hard for me.. it's not something I could share.. I used to cry a lot when I'm alone.. and I couldn't even say a pray.. but I know that God understands the language of tears, right? I know that He has helped me through the hardest times.. I wouldn't be this strong if He hadn't held my hands.. now, with His help, I managed to smile and pray.. smile has been my shelter for a long time.. it's like my ultimate weapon to say that I'm alright..
I love to smile.. for me, I'm always beautiful when I'm smiling.. ahahaha.. now, I'm happy.. really happy with my life.. with friends I have around me.. well, they may not seem to understand sometimes.. but just by being around, sharing their stories, joking around.. they have helped me to smile.. and by smiling I know, that I will be okay.. that all is well..
sometimes people may think high about us.. hum, because you smile all the time, people think you don't have any problem.. because your salary is higher, people thinks you're happier.. because you spend more, people thinks you're richer.. well, I think those people must be really shallow.. we have to see the coin from both sides.. nobody's life is perfect.. you really can't judge people only by looking at their cover.. so I learn to clear my mind when seeing somebody new.. try (though it's kinda hard) not to give them scores by their clothes, or their hair, or their cars.. ahahaha.. well, it is hard.. our society has been labeling people based on clothes, car, hair, husband/wife and other material things..
I'm still learning, though.. I also learn to see my friends, those who I've known for a while.. through the same lens.. you know, eventhough they're smiling, doesn't mean that they're okay.. I'm learning to see their heart.. people might be laughing out loud, but crying really deep in their hearts.. and sometimes the pain inside hurts so bad that your brain automatically hid all those problems with a smile and you don't even have to force yourself to smile.. you just did, automatically..
I used to be one of those people.. I hide behind my smiles.. it becomes my drug, you know.. to smile and let people think I'm just fine.. I am blessed by the Lord, with so much.. but I also noticed that the more blessing you have, the more responsibilities you got (just like spiderman, with great power, comes great responsibilities).. and the more test you have to pass.. I believe that God above knows really well our ability.. and that He gives us what we need at the right time.. that He knows just how much blessing and responsibilities we can handle..
after a while, I realized that sometimes it hurts when people you consider friends made the wrong conclusion about you.. they join those people who thought you're really fine since you're smiling and laughing and shopping and gossiping.. we all need friends, and for me.. I need friends mostly when I'm sad.. well, I don't expect them to see that I'm crying inside or to cry with me.. instead, I expect them to laugh with me.. and just see me for who I am.. you don't have to understand other's deepest feeling.. but just laugh with them would be such a great help.. you know, the things friends can do to make friendship worth.. that you indeed are not alone..
arrghhh... it's been a loonnnggg post.. and my fingers are hurting ahahaha.. basically, I'm just babbling around.. throwing all the thoughts I have in mind and try to make peace to myself :)
